Blame me

if this run of beautiful weather suddenly changes.

 

 

I decided yesterday to get rid of all the dark winter clothes in my wardrobe and to bring out some of my missed, colourful clothes.

So I opened up my wardrobes and the fun began.

 

 

 

 

Hang on.

You didn’t think for one minute that they could possibly be Miss OCD’s wardrobes did you?

The above belongs to my daughter. All her clothes get ironed and then screwed up by her!! The hanging rail remains almost empty. Why, I have no idea.

I swear we bought the wrong child home from hospital.

Now this is more like it.

 

Out came all my boxes of “summer” clothes and the process began.

Teddy of course came to help me.

My holiday attire was sorted into one box and then I put the real summery bits into another.

I found a great box that I can store some of my, many, Ugg boots in, standing up. I still kept the lighter, coloured ones in my wardrobe.

 

 

All the winter things were stored away in the linen cupboard on top of the Ugg box.  Nice and easy to get to when no doubt the weather turns for the inevitable worst again.

 

 

 

 

And Voila a new Spring wardrobe.

 

 

Have you had the urge to give your wardrobe a spring clean. Or are you like Tasmin?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On my quest to get better, I joined a newly opened Pilates Gym yesterday.

It could inevitably cut my driving time and cost down of my Pilates sessions. They were very knowledgeable and backed up everything Teejay has been telling me at Applied Pilates. So, I am starting with one class a week with them and continuing  with Teejay just for the near future.

I have been put in a rehabilitation class with a trained physio and Pilates teacher. The class has the least amount of people in, so that I will get almost 1-1. Apparently, the others are all over 70 and suffering from MS and Parkinson's. So, at least I’ll be the youngest.

Poor people, they don’t know what’s about to hit them.

I hope they don’t mind swearing!!!!!

She says it all perfectly

 

 

My life told in my way.

Project Life week eleven.

 

Of course how could I not mention the terrible tragedy happening in Japan.

So I used one of Becky’s special double journaling cards and I have written all the News facts, as of that date. I copied a map off the web of where the earthquake hit.  All of the journaling is hidden inside, on 3 pages.

I added a tag from a dress I bought this week, that summed up my feelings about being featured on The Pioneer Woman's blog.

I’d just like to share with you a link to the winning “Beauty” photograph. I had my fingers crossed it would be the one I picked, and it was. Stunning.

The comments are worth reading, as the photo really makes you think.

Which reminds me I have to go, now and send some replies to the lovely people who commented on my entry.

Phew, I’ve needed a tea break this week. I have been mega busy.

And I don’t even really drink tea!!!!!

Well, I will if its offered with this…………………………….

My little piece of Heaven.

Woooo Hooooooo

Its 3.37am and I have been awake since 3am. I can’t take another batch of painkillers until 3.45am. So I’ve been standing here surfing the net to occupy my time. Thank God for the net.

As we all know the time on a computer just disappears.

So I’ve read all the up to the minute news stories to do with the sad Japanese earthquake. I’ve even taken some shots of my computer screen for a prompt for the Joy of Luck class.

You had to take a shot of something you are grateful for. For me it is the heroic and selflessness of the workers working hard at the nuclear plant trying to save the Planet. Knowing that they risk almost certain death.

 

The news of the earthquake will feature in my Project Life this week. As I am sure it is going to be something that will be remembered for a very long time.

So then I started catching up my Google reader saved blogs. Up came the famous Pioneer Woman’s blog. I along with millions of other people, LOVE her blog. I even bought her cookery book, when I was in the States last year.

I had read about her current Photography assignment only the other day. The title was Beauty. Now, I have submitted images in the past, but the standard of entries is EXTREMELEY high. I mean there are 44,581 members on her Flickr page alone. Just check them out. The standard is awesome. Lots of the entries are made by professional photographers,using lots of Photoshop techniques. Her blog is one of the most read blogs in the World.

But I thought oh well, why not submit an image of mine that came straight to mind. I started reading Rees blog post for her final day of submissions in this twilight hour. I was stood rooted to the spot with tears in my eyes when I saw she had picked my image as one of the chosen ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooo Hooooooo……………

Check out the lovely comments I got on my Flickr page.

Here’s the image I used. Weirdly it’s unphotoshopped as I didn’t know how to use it at, at all back in July 2010.

So I am supppppper excited to have been chosen and I’m sure Tasmin will be pleased to hear a shot of her was chosen in a beauty category, even though her head was chopped off.

So I am going to head back to my bed now it’s 4.20am, but I doubt I’ll be able to sleep from the excitement.

Oh and by the way, even though I am awake from the pain. My levels have gone back down again. Last week was just a blip, as I hoped. I am just getting on with my life and taking steps to strengthen my body.

Project Life-Weeks 8-10

Life flies so fast. I didn’t have time to post my week 8+ pages of Project Life. So here is a triple dose to catch up.

I have actually used a different picture to the one of the stuffed toy rabbit. Hubby was in Sweden for the week so I used a collage of pictures he took in the place of the “stock” rabbit picture.

I have quite a collection of stock pictures now. They will no doubt come in useful in the next 9 months when I am stuck for an image.

the one of Hubby eating his breakfast was a stock photo. He has the same thing for breakfast every day. So on a day when nothing much happened, it came in useful.

An insert and scrapped page of our photo shoot.

plus I have added a great pocket envelope from Staples to hold any paper work from the year. It was a bargain at just 50p. The first letter in it, will be joined by copies of our Census form. The first letter informs us that we have been refunded our clamping fee, from our little episode in London recently.

Well that’s Project Life up to date. I am going to print off my next three pictures in a moment to start this week off.

I am sat here with my good leg, all puffed up like a balloon. Typical that my pain has gone up a few notches since I saw the Consultant. I have had no respite over the weekend. I had to sleep the entire night with my leg out of the bed, standing on the floor. Its not a comfortable position, and it only partially worked last night. The result is a balloon foot and leg. My son was horrified when he saw it this morning.

So I am going to suffer a few more days, to see if it’s just a blip, or if the nerve root injection is coming to an end. Then it will be a trip to the Drs about me maybe trying morphine patches or just something stronger than codeine.

We went looking for a new car for me yesterday. I tried every SUV and 4 wheel drive. From a Honda right up to a BMW. But the only one that was comfortable for me, was what I drive now, a Citroen Picasso. But unfortunately I don’t need the new shape with seating for about 10! The next one down, doesn’t come in an automatic, which I need. So we came to the happy conclusion that it will be another second hand Picasso, but automatic this time. Mind you I couldn’t have driven anything yesterday as the pain was toooooo bad.

We had a little trip to the new Cath Kidston factory shop, just up the road. Tasmin came away with lots of fabulous goodies and I bought a baby changing bag?????

It makes a fabulous camera bag. It came with a bottle holder that fits one of my lens perfect. A waterproof mat, which will be great to kneel on in a shoot. Plus it fits my laptop so it will be perfect to use as hand luggage on a plane.

We couldn’t resist something for Teddy and he LOVES it.

Hope restored

I went today with four pages of questions for my consultant ,I was seeing for a second opinion. I wouldn’t have gone down this route if my original consultant hadn’t told me in my very first consultation, that he had only performed a discectomy on my area of spine twice before. Great I thought, but as I continued in pain and it looked like surgery was my only answer, alarm bells started ringing. I knew I couldn’t go forward without going with my gut instinct and I had to get a second opinion.

At Pilates this week was a man who had the exact same surgery just 7 weeks before. He looked amazing. So the entire group got talking, and it turned out all 5 of us had, had lots of experience of back problems. The man told me his back pain had gone, but he still had the nerve pain down his leg. Well, the nerve pain is my main problem, so he said take that into consideration and think VERY seriously. They all recommended a second opinion and to see someone at Stanmore hospital. This put me in more of a tizwas as I had already booked a second opinion for two days later.

Teejay keeps insisting I should not have surgery, and wait 18 months to two years and it will right itself anyway, in his opinion. Surgery is very hit and miss.

So back to the computer for more research, and yes Stanmore is the best back place and my original surgeon was top of his class there !!!

So off I went today. I took Hubby this time as a second pair of ears. From the second  the consultant  talked he exuded confidence. It was music to my ears to hear him say he knew my agony, as he too had suffered with a prolapsed disc. He thoroughly examined me and noted that I had indeed improved since my original consultation in November. Pilates has greatly helped my movement.

He answered every one of my questions, without me really having to ask him. He said I was indeed one of the rare people to experience hormonal problems from the nerve root injection. So it was best to avoid another one anytime soon.

He told me that my original surgeon was better qualified than him to operate on my spine. Mainly because I have an unusual prolapse, apparently it’s in the wrong place to normal and he’s not sure how a surgeon would get to it. This is what my original consultant told me last time. But he said he was excited to operate on it.

He stressed he wouldn’t and didn’t have surgery himself. That if I can tolerate the pain for about 18 months more, I should be in the same situation even if I’ve had surgery. Hopefully the prolapse will return to some sort of normal or my nerves will readjust.

He said everything I was doing was spot on, especially the Pilates. That driving was something to avoid if possible, and so he talked to me about changing my Pilates time so that Hubby can drive me there each week.

Plus he told me my choice of careers had greatly played a part in my problems, as had his. He said being in your late 30’s and changing career, wouldn’t have been a great time to put pressure on my back , add to that years of lifting people as a carer and getting old and decrepit, I was a recipe for disaster.

So I left with a spring in my step ( well not really I had to drag my leg! )

Ok I have a possible long-time ahead of me to live in pain, but the fact the light is starting to shine at the end of the tunnel is a blessing. That I feel happy and comfortable with the decision is what I was mainly searching for.

So, no long haul holidays for me in the near future, a new automatic car is on the cards and I’m excited to be getting some new comfy sofas.

Things to look forward to………….

Oh poo, I now need to try and shift half a stone for the summer.( time to shift my hamster cheeks and turkey neck )

 

Is it too much to ask ?

No, said a friend, you ask so little of them.

This was a conversation I had yesterday.

I dared to ask my family, could we have a picture of all of us. The light was perfect, the sun has finally come out of hiding from the Winter. I have been asking for weeks for a family picture, but I was always put of.

But Sunday was different, everyone was looking half decent and we had someone staying who could wield the camera for us. A perfect opportunity I thought.

But the response I get is sooo negative. My son is the hardest hurdle to cross. I have to promise to not share the photos on Facebook and my blog and it takes lots of begging and pleading to get him to give me just 5 minutes out of his life. But it was Hubbys reaction that hurt the most. He said we really don’t care about the photos of us as a family.

Well I care, is that enough ?

Photos mean so much to me and have always played a massive part of my life.

What they don’t seem to understand is that in my long and lonely nights, stood in pain in my scrapbook room. It’s those photos that I go through. I edit and print them ready to go in my album in the morning. The days photo is what keeps my mind active and focused for the day. It gives me something to look forward to.

I read avidly blogs linked to Project Life, to give me inspiration.

What saddens me a lot. Is that I also ask for a family photo so that it proves, I existed. It is always me behind the camera, trying to capture a likeness people are happy with. No one gives me that respect in return.

So after lots of pleading they gave me just 5 quick snatched minutes. I took some quick shots to get the camera ready for the person taking them and I loved them. I was right, the light was perfect.

People get intimidated by my camera, so I wanted to have it all set up. Fail proof. But of course people wielding the camera, don’t stay as still as me and all of the pictures, but one were out of focus. So here is the only one I had to choose from, with son cut out.

It saddens me that my family just don’t get IT. That I am trying to give them memories to share with their families for long after I have gone.

I can’t be mad, because there are many more people just like me on Becky's blog. It saddens me more every time I read her blog, when she writes about examples of people excited about their Project Life. At 4am this morning I read this entry ( here ) and it prompted me to write this, stood lonely in my scrapbook room waiting for the pain to go, whilst all around me they sleep peacefully. Sadly the pain in my heart isn’t so easy to fix with painkillers.

Just a quickie

 

If you live in the UK my good friend, Linda’s son is on BB2 10pm, tonight in an amazing film.

Brideshead Revisited.

Brideshead Revisited - Theatrical Trailer - Official
Uploaded by ScooterMovies. - Full seasons and entire episodes online.

 

Linda what was going on with Ben’s hair in this interview with him !!!

Her son Ben, plays Lord Sebastian Flyte. I can’t believe it has been two years since I went to watch it at the cinema.

His new film The Tempest also came out at the cinema this week. He is playing the part of Ariel.

I’m afraid Shakespeare isn’t really my thing. As you may have noticed from my lack of English skills, I wasn’t in the top class for English at school. That was the only class you got to study Literature and Shakespeare. So Shakespeare goes a bit above my head !

I was however one of only three people in my class to gain an GCSE O level in English, so that shows how bad my school was !

Amazing seeing's, I didn’t know where to put full stops or use paragraphs. I just used to guess.

But boy, could I write a story. That was the only reason I got to take the exam.

Night night. Back to bed for me. It’s 5am. I didn’t take sleeping tablets last night. I’ve decided to just cope with painkillers. So hopefully I will be a lot more alert tomorrow.

Just another day in my life

See those needles. How long do you think those ones are in my butt?

Now double that and you won’t be anywhere near their length.

I mean check this video out. ( its not me, but it gives you a rough idea)

Myofascial Dry Needling: Quadratus Lumborum @ Yahoo!7 Video

Ouch

Teejay kept saying I was a drama queen when I let out involuntary screams as he twiddled some of them. It was like electricity shooting down my leg. My feet seemed to have a mind of their own.

I had gone today for deep tissue manipulation.. Well Teejay added some Hivamat electrostatic therapy and then out came the needles. I had dry needling last July at an osteopaths. But today I could really feel them. Hopefully they were doing something good, as my previous dry needling sessions didn’t help me at all. I was tired out afterwards and had a little snooze when I got home.

The rest of the week was all about treatments as well. Monday I had traction in hospital.

 

Tuesday was a relaxing day at the spa at Hanbury Manor with my friend Linda.

I had found some £20 vouchers that included a back massage.We thoroughly enjoyed our treatments and spent an entire day not doing much at all. Bliss.

Wednesday was another day with a physio

 

 

I am stopping my appointments here. They are a total waste of time. They kill me to get there and then I just go home with another sheet of exercises I can’t do.

 

 

 

I have decided to have surgery and hopefully I will be able to have it over Easter. But first I want a second opinion from another consultant. Teejay summed up my present consultant exactly today. He said he sounds like a prat. And that was the word I have been searching for. I just don’t trust him and I have a gut feeling about him and prat was the perfect word.