Trust me

yep, trust me to be one of the rare ones. I went to see my back consultant today. As I dragged my leg and limped into his room he guessed my epidural hadn’t totally worked. I assured him I was feeling better, and that on the whole, the pain has dropped from a 9 down to a 2-3/10.

I  asked him if I had indeed been awake during the procedure and if I had been rambling away. Luckily, he said he sees so many people he couldn’t remember. So at least he couldn’t remember my arse. Or maybe that was why he couldn’t put a face to my ramblings?

But it would seem I was awake, but luckily he said they dose you up heavy so you can’t move.

I had a LONG list of things I wanted to ask him and I mean a long list. It would seem I am one of a rare 0.2% that as a side effect get a rare hormonal imbalance caused by the corticosteroids nerve block. It explains my hot flushes in the days after the epidural and the fact that my menstrual cycle has gone haywire. The main problem though has been my old adversary, the hormonal migraine has come back with a vengeance.

So I have warned Hubby that I may be growing a beard anytime soon, I may increase/decrease in size rapidly and I may have more woes to moan about in the coming weeks. Great, he said my beard will keep him warm on these cold nights and that he always knew I was special.

Only thing is I don’t want to be special in the Freak Circus kind of way.

I have to now build my shrivelled and withered muscles whilst the going is good. My problem is I HATE exercise. In fact so much, I couldn’t even be bothered to get up and answer the phone a second ago. It turned out it was the owner of the gym I am going to try, returning my call.

I used to be extremely fit and went to the gym 5 times a week. I must admit that I was known for popping in just to read the daily papers and pick up my free copy of OK magazine . I liked their showers and hairdryers, so I would go with good intentions of a run on the treadmill and a swim, but I would just by pass that bit and head for the showers. The instructors used to all laugh about me. Plus, they had a lovely cafe with scrummy bacon sandwiches and fries and right outside was a KFC and a Mc Donald's.

But joking aside, I was very fit, but I still had major back problems and no flexibility. I tried Pilates and Yoga, but when you have very restricted movement it can be very embarrassing. I couldn’t even sit in the crossed leg position and it would bring back the haunting memories of my inadequacy at ballet as a child. I once had to be carried to my car to be taken for an emergency osteopath appointment after one yoga class. So when the Drs recommend those type of “gentle”  classes to me, I know my chances are zero of going/returning.

I mean this poor bloke below is better than me. I can’t even stretch my legs out and lift them.

BUT I fancied trying the highly recommended form of applied Pilates that is practised by lots of celebrities in the States. The position of laying on your back whilst being stretched and tortured on medieval torture devices, appealed to me !!??!!

I mean Jennifer Aniston is a famous advocate of it, I could soon look like her and cure my back pain at the same time.

Where do I sign up?

But I knew this type of Pilates is rare in the UK, so I did a search and I couldn’t believe it when I found we have a Stott Pilates studio in Hertfordshire.

So, tomorrow I hopefully will be booking my first session. If nothing else it will be something to document for Project Life.

I must admit I dread to think how bad I will be, but they specialise in rehabilitating people with bad backs, so fingers crossed.

I hope I don’t end up like this bloke and injure my back even more.

I’ll have to remember to pack a Tena lady. Mainly I should think for the giggling. I’ll do a search in the loft for my tiny gym bunny outfits I used to wear. I think though, I sensibly chucked them some years ago.

The other problem is Teddy ate my favourite trainers recently, so I may have a foot wear problem.