Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Is it too much to ask ?

No, said a friend, you ask so little of them.

This was a conversation I had yesterday.

I dared to ask my family, could we have a picture of all of us. The light was perfect, the sun has finally come out of hiding from the Winter. I have been asking for weeks for a family picture, but I was always put of.

But Sunday was different, everyone was looking half decent and we had someone staying who could wield the camera for us. A perfect opportunity I thought.

But the response I get is sooo negative. My son is the hardest hurdle to cross. I have to promise to not share the photos on Facebook and my blog and it takes lots of begging and pleading to get him to give me just 5 minutes out of his life. But it was Hubbys reaction that hurt the most. He said we really don’t care about the photos of us as a family.

Well I care, is that enough ?

Photos mean so much to me and have always played a massive part of my life.

What they don’t seem to understand is that in my long and lonely nights, stood in pain in my scrapbook room. It’s those photos that I go through. I edit and print them ready to go in my album in the morning. The days photo is what keeps my mind active and focused for the day. It gives me something to look forward to.

I read avidly blogs linked to Project Life, to give me inspiration.

What saddens me a lot. Is that I also ask for a family photo so that it proves, I existed. It is always me behind the camera, trying to capture a likeness people are happy with. No one gives me that respect in return.

So after lots of pleading they gave me just 5 quick snatched minutes. I took some quick shots to get the camera ready for the person taking them and I loved them. I was right, the light was perfect.



People get intimidated by my camera, so I wanted to have it all set up. Fail proof. But of course people wielding the camera, don’t stay as still as me and all of the pictures, but one were out of focus. So here is the only one I had to choose from, with son cut out.


It saddens me that my family just don’t get IT. That I am trying to give them memories to share with their families for long after I have gone.

I can’t be mad, because there are many more people just like me on Becky's blog. It saddens me more every time I read her blog, when she writes about examples of people excited about their Project Life. At 4am this morning I read this entry ( here ) and it prompted me to write this, stood lonely in my scrapbook room waiting for the pain to go, whilst all around me they sleep peacefully. Sadly the pain in my heart isn’t so easy to fix with painkillers.


Dawn said...

The only thing I wish I was there to give you a bloddy big hug xxx

Anonymous said...

That is why your blog is so special - you tell family life like it really is. I have had similar comments "Do we have to?" "You know what I look like" and "Boring!". This from a grandchild I hardly ever see!! Keep smiling and being honest - its painful but oh so real.

Elizabeth said...

The photos you did get are beautiful. I agree with you that that sounds so frustrating. Really, beyond frustrating to the point of being quite upsetting. I wonder if it might hit home with them if you said it in those words-- tell them that when you can't sleep at night because you're in pain that you work on scrapbooking family photos and that those photos give you a sense of peace and hope. Almost make it emotional for them instead of just asking for a picture because it would be nice to have one. Would that work?

Scrappi Sandi said...

Ryan is noticeable by his abscence in that 'Family' shot...but you three all look gorgeous!! I know exactly where you're coming from but don't let it get to you...although I know that at 4am it will seem an awful lot more important than in the cold light of day!

I'm so glad you've got project life as a distraction through the pain & if you need a partner in crime for a bit more distraction at the CK Factory shop, give me a call!!!

suebaru said...

Yep, I feel your pain too! As part of my Document 2011 I just want one photo of us all together a month.When I asked them in Feb you'd have thought I'd asked them to sit and have teeth pulled :(
The photos you got are gorgeous though :)

Denise said...

You do tell it like it is and I guess it's nice to have blogland to sound off about it. They don't get it do they- one day they will look back at what you have done and they WILL get it - so we'll all keep going cos one day someone will love what we've done. The pics you did get are lovely. Keep smiling ! xx

alexa said...

So sad to read and feel your own pain and sadness, so clearly expressed, and the loneliness of not being understood... And your photos are beautifully shot. I'd be thrilled if I could have had someone take photos of me like that - I have hardly any of my earlier life. Perhaps they'll read all our replies and 'get' it. Sending warmest good wishes and hope our comments on here take the edge off those cold middle-of-the-night moments. xx

kym said...

The photo of you all is lovely ( even minus Ryan )....I would love to have photo's like that taken of me..they don't know how lucky they are..but I know my children and grandchildren would'nt pose for a photo without someone moaning....kym xx

andrea said...

its funny as although we are different in many ways ,we are so similar in others,i too have always taken loads of pics (we take after mum) ,with peoples response as Andreas at it again always got a bloody camera in hand ,so many people have commented on your scrap book pics on my wall and want some themselves so if you are ever short of people to snap i know loads,including a canvas for us ! also how much risk is the op dont think i could wait 18 mths !!xx

Melody Brotherton said...

Well, I feel exactly like Dawn. I just wish I was there to give you a bloody big hug.... :-(


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