I have a major excuse why I haven't be blogging. I have a brain tumour !!!
Yep, you read that right.
It was a shock to me as well.
But really I am just using it as an excuse to you for my non blog writing. Hell, I was only diagnosed with it last Tuesday, so that's a crap excuse. But I've been finding having a brain tumour is great for getting out of things or blaming things on. My daughter said it's been great at work for people easing the pressure of her and giving her sympathetic looks and hugs. Hell, I wish I had known last month when Bristish Airways decided it was a good idea to move me out of my pre paid for window seat, into the crap seat in the middle. I was REALLY pissed off, when the "child" (16yrs +) was given my seat. Even more so when I saw her bloody put down the blind as soon as we were in the air. Why did she need my window seat ? Now if only I had known about "Bert " at the time. My pleading for a window seat, which fell on deaf ears might have had more oomph behind it.
I would have said I NEEDED the seat to stop my anxiety of flying. I might even have said, that it would be on her head, if as a result I had a serious seizure mid-air. Maybe an exaggeration by me, I've never even had a seizure, but she wouldn't have known that. Ha Ha. Who knows she might have found me a comfy seat in First Class.
See, "Bert" might come in handy.
Bert is the name I decided to give my tumour. I instantly thought of Gilbert the grape. God knows why as my tumour is the size of a gobstopper. Hubby asked the consultant that question. " Small then " said hubby. Obviously Hubby never had the gobstoppers I bought in my youth. I think it was all just a ruse by the consultant to stop me knowing the truth. He said he didn't know how to use the measuring device on the MRI pictures. This from a doctor who is named as one of the top 10 back neurologists in the UK. Mmmmm doesn't ring true to me.
Shortening it to Bert, sounded short and sweet. So it looks like I will be taking my stowaway with me, everywhere now. Can't say it feels the same as being pregnant, and having another being with you all the time. Bert might even cause me some problems. The DVLA need to know that I won't be the only one driving a car from now on. He didn't even take a driving test, so he could be a devil on the road. Hopefully he is just a back seat driver.
Oh and how clever is the title of this blog post. I knicked it from another brain tumour blogger.